“Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness.”

~Unknown

It’s a harsh reality in the ADHD world, but let’s face it and put it right out there in the open: insecurities are not attractive, not sexy and in no way come across as positive statements in attracting a loving, caring partner.

Ouch!

It’s a glaring hindrance to fulfilling relationships for many people with ADHD, especially for undiagnosed or untreated ADDers and that is “insecurity”. Insecurities come across in many ways and most of those ways are ‘in disguise’!

Here are a few of them:

• Jealousy
• Acting funny (when the situation doesn’t call for it)
• Teasing
• Arrogance
• Negativity
• Distancing (not calling, staying away or just being quiet)
• Anger

A

Sorry I haven’t had the time to write as much as I would like lately. The new book has captured a lot more of my time than I thought it would and now that it is near completion, I really don’t have a clue what to write about at the moment. Hopefully, that’s just a phase? Have you finished a major project and then kind of wondered around a while wondering what to do next and it seems as though there’s nothing else to do? That’s kind of where I am at.

For the new book Joan and I wanted to include a few pictures for very specific places within it. You get to see a selection we are considering in this post. Please tell us which one’s you like best. We want you to have a part in this book. Next week we reveal the completed cover, which was accomplished with the assistance of members’ suggestions!

We have had some great, helpful books given away by fantastic authors over the last year, Nancy Ratey, Gina Pera, Bryan Robinson, Barbara Sher, Lara Honos-Webb, Nancy Irwin and Kenneth Kay. Thank you very much to each of these authors for offering their autographed books to our ADDer World ADHD Social Network members! There are more to come, but first…

To start off 2010 I am giving away 13 signed copies of my new book Adult ADHD can be Sexy!

I am very, very happy and proud of my new book which will be released this coming summer! This isn’t your usual book about ADHD and it is not designed for beginners to the world of ADHD! However, if you have any interest at all in relationships, love and intimacy in connection with ADHD, this is a book I believe you will enjoy and get something special out of!

Adult ADHD can be sexy for many reasons, the list is literally endless, and yet the majority of those reasons are not for good behavior. Being generally bad can be sexy too and if there’s one word that is synonymous with ADHD, whether it is spoken or unspoken that word would be: Bad.

Bad Manners, Bad Behavior, Bad Morals and Bad Person and on and on…

Bad, Selfish, Narcissistic, Ill-mannered, lazy, unmotivated, and Stupid, Idiotic, Procrastinator and the ever popular Crazy are just a few of the names which have become staples in the depository of names for those of us with ADHD. In Adult ADHD can be Sexy I address a few of them and yet it is impossible to address all of them, not to mention exhausting too. In the end, they all mean the same thing.

New Book in 2010

I think you’re going to enjoy this book!

Please feel free to subscribe to the email updates to be notified when published!

~Bryan

I have written posts indicating that ADHD is not always the culprit in a broken relationship. I sincerely do not believe everything and anything is the fault, or should be blamed on an ADHD partner.

However, with that said:

ADHD can have devastating effects on relationships. I don’t think that’s a secret. Still, if anyone with ADHD is in a relationship and has avoided seeking help or proper treatment, or has been uncertain if doing so will help, then my best suggestion is to seek treatment because, yes, your ADHD could certainly be the cause of relationship hardships, or it could be complicating an otherwise beautiful, worth-it relationship.

Diagnosis with proper treatment will not only help make relationships better and more fulfilling, but proper treatment can make one’s entire life more rewarding and satisfying.

Diagnosis with proper treatment equals more out of life!

To be loved.

Can I be loved? Am I lovable?

Have you ever asked those questions of yourself?

Have you ever stayed up nights, wondering why - why can’t I be loved?

ADHD often seems like a bittersweet reality.

Many of us are creative, we are exciting and we can find things to do when the rest of those around us are bored out of their minds and yet, and this is the part that hurts, no matter how exciting we may be, how much we can liven up a boring moment for others, or how creative we may be, we all too often still feel lonely. So lonely, and then it comes, like a shadow from the dark corner, it spreads so slowly, then wraps itself around us, at first it feels warm and comforting, but it is not an afterglow, it is sadness, which after time may become misery.

Just a fantasy?

Who doesn’t want to fall in love forever? Who doesn’t want to meet that perfect person, that person who makes us feel whole, that person who makes us feel wonderful and beautiful?

Who doesn’t want to meet that person, you know who I am talking about, that person who understands who we are inside, who understands our ways of doing things, who understands the whys, the how’s and the frustrations, the temptations and the never ending contemplations?!

Who doesn’t? Who doesn’t want to meet that perfect, accepting person?

Out there, in the word, somewhere, that person is there, looking too, for acceptance, understanding and compassion, sympathy and reliability. We believe that, we have to - if we don’t – what else is there? Nothing else seems to matter, but then…

So Special – So Sweet.

There comes a moment, a moment in time when you meet someone, someone so special; there is no other who can compare, no words can describe, but inside you, you know that this is the one – oh yes, sweet, delicious, luscious, YES!

Every heartbeat exemplifies. This one, this oh, oh, so perfect one, who’s mere existence explains why the world exists, why the sun comes up and why the stars twinkle.

This person smiles so brightly, has such kind words to say, wants to see you each and every day. Heaven is everywhere, all around you, within you. You can’t sleep, much less think of anything, or anyone, else. The world is new – there is finally reason to the madness and everything, everything is so gloriously clear, finally, at long last.

…reach for the stars and I hope you actually reach high enough to put one of them into your pocket…

Should I dream? Should I aspire? Should I want for more? To be more? Should I lift myself up after falling? Should I try again and again?

We have heroes, they inspire us, they motivate us and yet, only a fraction, a measly percentage of people will accomplish even a fraction of what their heroes have achieved and accomplished. The dream then, it would seem, is too big and unforgiving. The challenge perhaps then is to have a dream at all, for we know not how far we will go and along the way there will be many who tell us we are trying too hard, we want it too much, that we will only hurt ourselves, after all, we are setting ourselves up for failure. Remember, and read this well, only a very small fraction actually reach the heights of our heroes.